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Drenagem Linfática

"Just put me in a wheelchair, get me to the show Hurry hurry hurry, before I go locoI can't control my fingers, I can't control my toes"

I wanna be sedated, Ramones

Olhos marejados.
Sentia seus olhos cheios de lágrima, mas não queria chorar. Ele não merecia.
Stacy acabara de flagrar seu marido, Emerson, na cama com outra.
Na sua cama.
Aquela terça-feira começara com de costume; levantou-se foi ao banheiro, fez xixi, tomou banho, trocou de roupa, penteou o cabelo e tomou um ótimo café da manhã -dois ovos mexidos, uma tigela de cereal, um pão com presunto e queijo e duas xícaras de café com leite, como fazia toda manhã desde que se casara, há vinte anos com Emerson.
Emerson levantava mais tarde, ás 8:00 horas, pois abria sua loja de assistência técnica para computadores às 10:00 horas.
Após o café Stacy pegou sua bolsa e foi embora para sua doceria, de onde só sairia ás 10:30 da noite. Mas ela gostava. Herdou a doceria de seus pais e a conduzia muito bem, diga-se de passagem.
Entrou no elevador, apertou o botão do térreo, quando na metade do caminho lembrou que havia esquecido suas barras de chocolate, apertou o 9º botão e foi tranqüila para sua casa.
Abriu a porta do armário da dispensa pegou oito barras de chocolate Nestlé de 200g cada e quando se preparava para sair escutou um barulho, como se sua cama tivesse estalado bem alto.
Preocupada com Emerson, ela foi rapidamente ao quarto e viu uma coisa que certamente ela não vai esquecer jamais: Emerson comendo a filha da vizinha de quatro e na sua cama.
Diante desta cena tão chocante, Stacy ficou imóvel, não conseguiu se mexer, só saiu do transe quando Emerson se virou, a encarou bem e continuou fazendo o movimento do vai-e-vem mágico, arrancando gemidos da jovem, que devia ser no mínimo20 anos mais jovem que Stacy e ter 90 kg a menos.
Stacy saiu desnorteada de casa e não sabia como chegou ao Parque do Ibirapuera naquela manhã cinza, sem sol.
Andou por muito tempo, pensando e fazendo força para não chorar até morrer.
-“Vinte anos de devoção e o cachorro me trai com uma putinha de 20 anos”- pensou Stacy enquanto dava uma mordida generosa na barra de chocolate meio amargo.
-“Agora eu sei por que aquele corno não me come há cinco anos, é claro, tava lascando a vara na cabritinha, cretino!”- pensava.
Na verdade o caso de Emerson com Cláudia só tinha sete meses, Emerson não comia mais Stacy porque há muito tempo ele já não sentia tesão por ela.Ninguém tem tesão por uma porca de 150 kg.
Casaram-se quando ele tinha 24 anos e ela 22, nessa época Stacy era muito gostosa, pernas grossas e duras, belos peitos, e tinha um rabo maravilhoso e ainda era bonita e simpática.
Mas os anos foram passando e aqueles 54kg se transformaram em 150kg de impotência. Era um fato, o pau de Emerson não subia vendo Stacy nua, era como se ele visse sua tataravô tomando banho, não dava, nem a mais escura das noites faria que o pau dele endurece-se.
Aí sabe como é que é a filha da vizinha cresceu e Emerson, ao contrário de Stacy, engordara apenas 8 kg nesses 20 anos. Começaram a conversar e pimba! Rola na safada!
Depois de andar bastante, Stacy viu um banco onde, apenas, tinha um jovem sentado na outra extremidade, lábios tingidos de vermelho (como batom de puta barata) e olheiras profundas. Escutava walkman e parecia não prestar a mínima atenção nela.
Stacy sentou-se na outra extremidade do banco e abriu uma barra de chocolate ao leite.

-“Eita porra! O Buda ta usando calça de lycra agora!”- foi o que pensou Felipe quando viu uma mulher gorda vindo em sua direção comendo uma barra de chocolate.
Felipe tinha 17 anos, trabalhava na Galeria do Rock no centro de São Paulo na loja de um primo seu. Trabalhava 10 horas por dia, mas ganhava bem, também seu primo pouco aparecia na loja, só vinha mesmo para pegar o dinheiro das vendas, de resto, Felipe era dono da loja de roupas com tema de rock.
Trabalhava de manhã e a tarde e estudava de noite. Estudava à noite por um simples motivo: não teria educação física nunca mais, odiava esportes.
Gosta de ir ao parque quando não está sol, pois odeia sol. Gosta de ficar parado por horas na mesma posição, sem se mexer e ficar olhando as árvores, os pássaros e as gostosas.
Uma gostosa, outra, êpa! Olha outra ali, e ali, e ali... adora ver aquelas mulheres com calça de ginástica e top correndo pra lá e pra cá, com cachorro, sem cachorro, uma delícia. Gosta das coroas, não sabe por que, mais gosta mais das coroas mais do que das novinhas, mas comia os dois tipos sem pestanejar. Se pudesse estaria mamando nos peitos da sua mãe até agora!
Desde pequeno sempre quis se parecer com Robert Smith, vocalista do The Cure, sua banda favorita. Seu físico o ajudou bastante nesta tarefa, pois Felipe é um frango de 1,70m e pesa 53kg e é branco como uma casca de ovo. Passa gel nos cabelos longos, usa batom vermelho borrado e só se veste de preto.
Na galeria ninguém nem nota, mas nas ruas as pessoas ficam olhando e comentando-“Olha que cara de doido! Todo pintado e de preto só pode ser gótico, metaleiro ou bruxo. Tão jovem e já neste mundo!”, mas ele está pouco se fudendo pras pessoas.
Não gostava de esportes, mas fazia sexo constantemente. O que o faz suar como um verdadeiro atleta olímpico.
Gastava muito mais da metade do seu salário com putas baratas e drogas. Gostava de tomar ácido lisérgico e ir ao puteiro, fazia isso todo sábado há três anos.
Adorava putas baratas, daquelas de 20 conto mesmo, botava a “camisola” e toma rola safada! Gostava da vida que levava.
Mas quando aquela gorda sentou do seu lado no mesmo banco Felipe pensou-“Ainda bem que é feito de ferro, se não eu já tava no chão. Também essa chupeta de baleia deve pesar uma 200 kg!”.

Os dois ficaram assim, um do lado do outro, sem dizer uma palavra, por mais de 2 horas quando ambos viram um homem correndo na direção do banco.
Era um homem grande, forte, musculoso e vinha sem camisa mostrando seu tórax muito bem desenvolvido com provavelmente anos de exercício para aquela região.
Steve precisava descansar, já estava correndo a mais de 3 horas ininterruptas e por mais que se exercitasse diariamente seu corpo precisava de um pouco de descanso.
Steve era um homem notável, praticava esportes desde os 13 anos, fazia musculação, natação, squash e yoga, Isso lhe rendeu um físico admirável que aliado com sua boa aparência e seu grande sucesso profissional como corretor de seguros o fazem o sonho de toda mulher.
Pena que Steve é gay.
Apaixonou-se pelo seu professor de matemática do cursinho, com o qual viveria até hoje se não o tivesse pegado trepando com um jovem na sua cama. Com o choque da cena Steve saiu correndo e não havia parado até o momento, mas estava cansado e viu um lugar entre uma senhora obesa e um cara que parecia uma estátua, pois não se mexia.
-“Nossa que homem!”- pensou Stacy olhando para um homem de porte atlético que vinha a seu encontro.
-“Certeza que essa gorda não dá há uns 10 anos, também tem que ter uma mandioca grande pra chegar nessa buceta gorda, olha só como ela ta olhando pro bombado que ta vindo pra cá.”- pensou Felipe quando percebeu de canto de olho o olhar da mulher ao seu lado para o homem que vinha na direção dos dois.
Steve sentou entre Stacy e Felipe e assim ficaram em silêncio por 3 horas sem falar uma palavra ou realizar algum movimento.
Nesses tempos modernos as pessoas estão cada vez mais solitárias e frias umas com as outras. Se calam,se ignoram e não se falam.
Mas na 8ª barra de chocolate que Stacy abriu Steve falou:
-A senhora não devia comer tão depressa e nem tanto chocolate, faz mal!
- É, eu sei, mas hoje o dia foi duro, peguei meu marido na cama com outra- respondeu Stacy.
Steve olhou triste, virando, abaixando a cabeça, disse:
-Eu também, peguei meu namorado com outro.
-“Viado do caralho, tinha que ser. Bombado desse jeito tinha que dar marcha ré no kibe mesmo! Bicha e corno!”- pensou Felipe que escutava toda a conversa de pé de ouvido.
-“Put´s!, ele boiola, que desperdício de homem!”- pensou Stacy.
-“Foi horrível sabe, vi o Marcos com outro na cama...”- Steve não conseguiu terminar sua frase pois sua voz embargou demais.
-“Ih gorda, seu sonho de rola já era, esse aí não te come nem a pau!”- pensou Felipe disfarçando olhando para o alto.
-Faz quanto tempo que você é bicha, que mau lhe pergunte?- disse Stacy meio envergonhada.
-Olha, eu não sou bicha, bicha é o Clodovil, Leão Lobo ou o Boy Jorge. Eu sou homossexual minha senhora! Da fruta que a senhora gosta eu chupo até o caroço!- respondeu asperamente Steve, fazendo menção a levantar-se e ir embora.
-Ai, desculpa! Não foi minha intenção te ofender. Meu nome é Stacy, e o seu?
-Steve.
-”Stacy. Steve. Que porra é essa? A gente tá no Brasil, vocês deveriam se chamar João, José, Pedro, Maria, Rosa ou Ana e não Steve e Stacy.
Tai uma gorda e uma bicha cornas, se fossem João e Maria, talvez não fosse assim! E outra coisa, se fosse no “Clube da luta” daria para fazer uma tonelada de sabonete com a banha da gorda”.
Acho que preciso do meu LSD, não vai dar pra esperar até sábado - pensou Felipe levantando para ir embora e deixando as duas novas amigas se conhecendo melhor,
Quem sabe elas não trocam receitas, afinal, elas gostam da mesma fruta mesmo.

35 Comments:

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